I wish I’d get better. I do. a part of me wish Im different than what I am. I wish i’m some carefree-in-the-moment kind of person. I gave this certain look that I am some “dainty” and frail kind of look to people but Im not. I kind be very introverted and into my teenage angst.
Sometimes I feel like just living my own bubble listening to Death Cab for Cutie or The XX and just be there and let the world go by. Without touching it or be in it. I think push people away too much and because of that no once can stand me anymore. I dont blame anyone. You stick around me and you’ll know me and my complexities and how different I am from the image you have of me.
So here I go again space out with MGMT playing kids in the background. Still waiting for the kick that would awake and take me away from this limbo.
I think I kinda lost it. I dont even know what’s left of me. I haven’t read any book this summer and that’s probably the sign that I hit rock bottom.
there’s nothing that interest me the way I am most of the time. I dont get hooked up on anything or how I am usually passionate when I read a good book or watched a really good film.
the fucking emptiness of my soul
It’s crazy how Im angry most of the time these days
Best way to start the summer with my ever growing High School Barkada. I was having thoughts if I should go then but this was probably one the best decision I’ve made- cause if I didn’t go I would have missed out a lot. Im really happy we did this swimming and sleepover and the whole lot.
I hope we do this more. Ah, can’t believe all the shit happened during this night. And yeah, the fact that we missed Oz definitely sucks.
It’s my girl Paula’s birthday today, greet her at @apau146
Everyone seems to be having fun so I might as well be happy for myself